Healing in Feeling
By LaQuanta Hobbs | Dec 13, 2021
I find myself discussing the concept of healing and what it truly means to get to a point where we truly accept past trauma’s or other difficulty situations that have occurred in our life. As a child of trauma, I understand the importance of healing and getting to a place of recovery in which you feel that the trauma is no longer affecting your present. I often tell my clients, feel what you need to feel and that there is “healing in feeling”. But what does “healing in feeling” really mean? Our brain has a difficult time processing trauma; our brain attempts to wrestle with accepting this new reality. While attempting to understand this new reality, we find ourselves attempting to rewrite history in our mind. When attempting to process trauma, we also find ourselves attempting to understand why it happened, determining if we could have prevented it and if something could have been done differently to change the outcome. These thoughts are all completely normal and is your brain attempting make some sort of sense or understanding of what has happened. So while attempting to process what is happening, we spend a good amount of time in the past. Although focusing on the past is part of the process, in regards to healing and acceptance, it is very important to begin focusing on the present. When we sit with those uncomfortable feelings related to a trauma, we are sitting in the present. We are unpacking feelings related to the trauma, acknowledging how we feel in present and the fact that the trauma actually occurred. Sitting with feelings, unpacking emotions, feeling what you need to feel is part of the process of healing. Acknowledging that your feelings are real and valid, helps you to walk down that journey of healing. Remember earlier I mentioned that when processing trauma we are trying to come to some sort of understanding of the trauma. I have found that true understanding of trauma comes from the present, not the past. Understanding that focuses on how to live in the new present, how to recover and to start the process of healing, how to pick up the pieces and how to empower yourself from this horrific event that has happened. Healing from trauma is difficult, but can be done with some hard work and the right supports in place. Reach out to a therapist to help you along this journey, reach out to a friend or family member, whatever is needed to help you in your healing. During this journey of healing, give yourself some grace and recognize that it is okay to not be okay.