Getting to the “Good” Part: There’s Good in Grief
By Lisa Savage | Nov 28, 2022
By Jasmine Cobb, LCSW Picture by Pixababy
Typically, there isn’t a positive association around the idea or experience of how it feels to
grieve and the action or lack thereof that comes with mourning. But on the contrary, believe
me when I say, “there is good in grief.” However, reactions to this will heavily rely on several
factors such as the type of loss, how much time has passed since the loss, and your relationship or connection to the loss. For the purposes of this read, let’s focus specifically on death- loss even though there are several types of other losses that can also lead to grief.
To frame this ideology, let’s liken it to the meanings of a fixed vs. a growth mindset. A fixed
mindset avoids challenges, quits when things get hard, and ignores opportunities for growth.
On the other hand, a growth mindset is the exact opposite. The greatest difference when we
add grief into the mix is that grief is just as much an emotional experience as it is a mental
adjustment. Mentally, we can forge acceptance of the reality of a loss, but the discord comes
when we struggle to flip the switch of acceptance onto our emotions. Some of us even try to
stuff our emotions deep beneath the surface, but never consider that they will eventually ooze
out and at worse erupt like a volcanic explosion. It’s hard to ignore the elephant in the room
even when we throw a sheet over it.
Two opposites can coexist if we first believe that it is possible that positivity can live in the
midst of a painful loss. This can be incredibly hard when taking the previously mentioned
factors into consideration. But this is the essence of what it means to have a growth mindset.
Some characteristics of having a growth mindset include embracing challenges, looking for the positive in negative situations, and being persistent through challenges. In order to get to the good in grief and move toward healing one must embrace the emotional challenges that will come with the loss of a loved one, seek and find even the smallest positives (because they do exist), and commit to navigating the peaks and valleys of the journey. That is how you get to the good part. Take the bitter with the sweet. It is definitely an acquired taste.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jasmine is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and is certified as a grief counselor. She has developed expertise in providing grief counseling and grief therapy for adults. She is located in Texas and is currently accepting new clients. She can be reached at email@example.com.