5 Nice Things to Do After a Fight

By Laura Louis | Mar 2, 2021

So, you had a big fight with your partner. A lot of unintentional words were said. Anger engulfed your rational thinking and your feelings were hurt. Now, there’s a rift between you two.


Arguments happen! Big ones and little ones. No one’s safe, but the good news is, it’s completely normal and healthy to disagree with your mate from time to time. 


As they say, marriage without arguments is marriage without productivity – and boring. The act of arguing shows that there’s work to do in a relationship. As partners, your goals should be learning and understanding ways to do better. 


Here are few nice things to do after a fight:


  • Tell your partner they were heard. Just by saying “I heard you” is just as powerful as “I’m sorry”, and of course mean it when you say it.


  • Take ownership of the things you said. Explain that you lost your cool in the moment. Don’t go back over the things they said or place blame. Then, apologize for the outburst.


  • Validate your partner by complimenting them on something they did – as a partner, as a friend, as a parent. State the specifics and be genuine, of course.


  • If they need space, let it be. Everyone processes things differently.


  • Turn up some music that you two love. It will help fill the silence a bit. Music therapy can go a long way and soften the harsh feelings you both may experience. 


  • And lastly, don’t forget to forgive yourself too. We all make mistakes! Acknowledging that you made an error – and making a habit of not doing it again, is equally important.


About The Author

As a licensed psychologist, Dr. Laura Louis is a widely sought-after speaker specializing in helping couples press the reset button after infidelity. Her five-step training program, Marriage Matters, has helped couples reawaken their connection. Affectionately deemed the “Marriage Architect”, Dr. Louis gives couples the tools to build their marriages.

Dr. Louis is one of the most sought-after public speakers, consultants, and psychologists alive today. She has spoken, conducted 100s of seminars, training, consulting for businesses, organizations, colleges/universities, hospitals, rehab centers, correctional facilities, and other institutions all over the United States, Brazil, Mexico, London, Haiti, Cambodia, just to name a few. 




Laura Louis

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